


Fondant and Fakery

by hiat



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 10:29:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6562756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiat/pseuds/hiat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the tumblr post: ‘does somebody wanna be fake engaged to me for like 2 hours to try free wedding cake samples’ Imagine your otp.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fondant and Fakery

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a work in progress.

Tyki didn’t have much of a sweet tooth. He much preferred the taste of savoury things, the rich flavour of a rare steak or the succulent flesh of perfectly seared fish; but on this particular day in his  hands sat a plate of ten miniature (admittedly amazing) cakes that he was testing for his fake wedding. This was his third plate at this particular bakery and he was fighting the urge to throw up.  

Allen had been whining that he was poor and passing by expensive cake shops every day was torture. Tyki suggested on a whim that Allen could have all the free cake he liked if he went in and pretended to be browsing for wedding cakes. That had been Tyki’s first mistake.

Tyki was a genius! Tyki you’ve got to come pretend to be my fiancé! Tyki why would you tell me about this and not help me? Tyki, _please_. Tyki was an idiot and his second mistake was agreeing to go along with the ruse. He stood there politely nodding and not at all listening to the eager attendant explaining their very reasonable fees and cake selections, while desperately ignoring the sugar nausea creeping up his belly. Allen really had the sweet (heh) end of the deal here and the long suffering man really wouldn’t mind if he wasn’t being forced to keep up with Allen’s overgrown appetite. The eager owner and pâtissier they were conning thought it the highest offence that he did not also sample every damned cake that Allen did since it was to be _their_ wedding cake. A decision they must come to _together_ \- preferably before Tyki vomited all over his nice new shoes. _Hurry up and declare your favourite fake cake, Allen._

Tyki wondered whether he should claim to be diabetic before the next round started when he noticed Allen sampling eclairs. Specifically, he was being distracted by some fresh cream that Allen hadn’t noticed on his cheek. Gluttonous, messy, and - _how has he still not noticed?_ Tyki realised a few moments too late that he’d been staring a little too long and had clearly ignored whatever question had come from his own attendant. He finally dragged his eyes away and was met with a laughing warm gaze that was trying to share a knowing look with him. Internally, he sighed. He might as well play along with the charade properly and have his own fun. It might just prove to be enough of a distraction to keep his stomach settled. Dialing up the charm, he placed an apologetic smile upon his face that he made sure to crinkle up towards his eyes as he reached over to Allen and swiped the cream from his cheek, slowly and deliberately. Allen jumped and had to quickly mute his surprise as his partner in crime licked clean the cream and turned away. Tyki was going to have his cake and tease the hell out of it, too. It didn’t take a lot to give the impression of a steady couple; no PDA was needed but this was sure to get a rise out of Allen who had not been expecting it in the slightest. After all, they were good friends and Allen was completely oblivious to Tyki’s attempts at flirting over the past four months.  

Tyki snorted in his best imitation of affection and returned that knowing look. “Honestly he gets so distracted by food, he forgets his manners. It was the same on our first date.” Allen was still staring at him, mortification colouring his cheeks deep claret. The attendant politely laughed which gave Tyki his cue to continue.

“I’d taken him out to this fantastic upscale restaurant by the bay. You know the one ‘Pavillion’.”

“Ooh, you lucky thing! Their waiting list is _months_!” Smile, quick laughing look at his fiancé and back.

“I managed to pull a few strings since I really wanted to impress. I could tell John was the one even then.” They were eating it right up, the pâtissier had paused Allen’s conversation and was listening intently forcing Allen to, too.

“Well once we’d gotten our orders, I might as well have not even been there! Silence for twenty minutes while he plowed through the main course. I think he even got lost on the way back from the bathroom because he’d forgotten what I’d looked like! That really hurt at the time.” Tyki laughed and rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. He was the picture of a downtrodden yet smitten man, perhaps edging too close to pathetic. However judging by the sympathetic noises and looks, he’d achieved his goal anyway. Allen sputtered.

“What – no!” Tyki could see the cogs whirring as he tried to flesh out his lie with a defence but Tyki had already prepared for the next part of the story.

“I didn’t hear from him for two weeks after that. I was certain I’d been dumped but after that awful first date I wouldn’t have gone on a second date even if he’d begged, and believe me he did.”

“-What? I didn’t beg!” Allen had put his plate down and was challenging Tyki.

“I was on a lot of pain medication on that first date. I felt bad about turning you down so many times, that I agreed to go despite being in so much pain. I had been hit by that car after saving your dog from the road. All of this right before my exams!” Allen mimed rubbing a phantom pain in his knee (fake) absent-mindedly. It had worked though as the attention of the pâtissier and the owner had swung back to Allen, whose blush was receding into an expression of indignation. The owner was wide eyed and resting a hand on Allen’s arm.

“Oh you poor thing!”

“My dog only got out on the road in the first place because you were half asleep and bumped into me, knocking my grip on her lead.”

“And I apologised for that! I put my life on the line to protect Betsy.” _Betsy._

“I wanted to thank you with a dinner date, but well, we all know now how that went.” He gestured with a sweeping arm to the bystanders of their quarrel.

“Cut me some slack Luke, you were no angel at the beginning either. You certainly found a use for the two weeks I was studying my ass off.” Allen crossed his arms and jutted his chin out. They both could feel the unease seep from the hosts, and Allen clearly had finally cottoned on to the fact that Tyki was done with this bakery. Mirroring his body language Tyki asked:

“What do you mean by that?”

“Since your memory is so fantastic, I’m surprised you don’t know exactly who I mean.” Allen bit back with ice in his eyes. Tyki widened his eyes in realisation before schooling his face into irritation.

“You remember now, don’t you. Raphael.”

“That was-“

“-Your long term partner. The person who you were living with while you were pestering me every half an hour to go out with you.”

“Our relationship had ended a long time ago. We were only living together because it was too expensive for either of us to move out at that point.” Tyki crossed his arms and leaned backwards just enough to be noticeable.

“No, it hadn’t. See I ran into him not too long ago and he let me into his side of the story.” Allen advanced into the space Tyki had retreated. The pâtissier had busied himself back into the kitchen, leaving the horrified host to deal with the ‘lover’s spat’ alone.

“In fact, it still hadn’t for the first three months we had started dating.” Tyki widened his eyes and let his arms go slack. The picture of a man trapped with nowhere to go.

“I was willing to put that in our past to salvage this relationship but you’re so brazen that you will continue to lie in front of me! I can’t stand it! You’re selfish and manipulative, Luke, and I think this wedding is a mistake.”

“I feel sick.” Tyki complained, genuinely feeling green about the gills. The cake had caught up with him. He backed away, keeping the appearance of a man who had just received an emotional suplex. He ran out the door and found the next alleyway down the road. He sprinted until he found a dumpster and deposited the past two bakeries onto the floor, feeling a great deal better after he was done. Five minutes later he heard someone trotting down the road and pausing at the entrance of the alleyway. Tyki rested his forehead against the cool brick and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. A quick survey told him he’d managed to avoid getting sick on himself and he walked to meet Allen. He’d rather Allen didn’t see the mess he’d made; he still did want to date the man after all.

“Tyki?”

“Yeah, sorry I had to get out of there.”

“Are you okay? Sorry I didn’t notice.” Allen stood awkward and apologetic.

“It’s okay, I just really can’t keep up with your sweet tooth, and those guys weren’t to know we’d already cleared out the bakery on Hibiscus Lane. Let’s…” Tyki gestured as he walked back to the road and Allen followed after.

“Thanks, that was some pretty good cake.” Allen had brightened and was glancing at him with laughter in his eyes, and patting his satisfied stomach. The expression suited him much better than the one of guilt and concern just a few moments earlier.

“I’d say anytime, but I don’t think I can look at cake for a few months.” Tyki lit up a cigarette but quickly extinguished it; it was a day where his smokes were going to unsettle his stomach too.

They walked along in comfortable silence while Tyki mentally rewound the day. He snorted, gaining Allen’s attention.

“ _Betsy_.” He laughed while Allen rose to defend himself.

Tyki knew the younger man still didn’t know about his feelings, or was choosing to ignore them but he didn’t mind. He felt at peace, his mind was quiet for once; and if Allen asked him to do it all again tomorrow he would say yes without a doubt.


End file.
